The Laughing Wolf

Way Of The Wolf: Duty To Others, Duty To Self

Almost every major and minor religion and philosophical discipline teaches the joys of charity. Charity is lauded even when it is not followed in any realistic practical sense.

The concept of charity, of doing good for others is an excellent idea, and is something to be followed. The problem is that the basics of charity have been muddled, so that the practice of same can do more harm than good. This harms others, and worse yet harms yourself.

The basic concept of charity is to provide immediate aid and comfort to those in need. Fables of all types talk of assisting those with wounds or injuries, who are in danger of death, or otherwise in momentary need. The momentary nature is implicit in almost every teaching, from a thorn in the paw to someone in need on a journey. Reading these lessons in full shows that in almost every case, the intervention is temporary and results in the individual(s) being helped recovering and then going on and doing better in their lives.

Nowhere that I have found does is say that the person doing the good has taken up a “Chinese Obligation,” not even in what Chinese texts I have read. Tithing in all religions is there, but much of that is for the running of the religion in question, with a portion going to help those less fortunate. Even there, however, is a strong suggestion that the people being helped are expected to strive, to use the money or assistance not just to get by, but to do better.

Yet, we are often faced with a demand that we do for others, even when they will not do for themselves. There are many different political groups that state you should give, willingly or by force, a significant portion of your wealth to help others. Missing from this equation, however, is any suggestion that the people being helped must strive to do better. Indeed, in many ways they are actively discouraged from doing so, for that would then lose them the aid they currently get.

Even when not connected to a political event, the demand is often made on other levels and by other individuals. You must help us. We deserve this. We demand that. In many cases, it is easy and feels good to give to others, but is this truly a good thing?

Think on this a bit. You find someone who has had a setback in life. They lost a job, something else horrible has happened, and they find themselves in a temporary position. Yes, they have been out of work for a year, but they are looking for a new job, they are doing what they can to get by. Is it wrong to help them out of a tight spot? No.

Yet, what if this continued for years? Would it then be good, or would your assistance be enabling behavior that was ultimately destructive? Would you be encouraging them to excel, to strive, to better themselves by continuing to provide assistance, or would you be allowing them to continue on as they are, without any real incentive to do better? Should you continue to do things for them, or their children, even though if you don’t they will suffer?

This is an important question and concept, for we do have a duty to our fellow man. We have an obligation to help them help themselves. But, we have also fallen into a trap of helping others, without any expectation that they will then help themselves and others.

Is it wrong to expect something back? If you are thinking in terms of indenture or similar forms of payback, then I would say yes. If, however, you are thinking in terms of the people being helped striving to do better, to reach higher so that they can then assist others, then no, it is not wrong to expect that type of payback.

Payback is essential to our world as a whole. Not the direct payback of money, but the payback of the intellect and the spirit. A “Pay It Forward” that reaps many, many larger rewards than just that of the original simple act. The world grows, and we are all the richer, when we help others to help themselves. The concept is simple and is enumerated in many forms.

Give a person food, and you feed them for a day. Teach them to farm, to hunt, and to cook, and they can feed themselves and others for a lifetime.

When looking at giving to a charity, either an organization or to individuals, examine what lies beneath. Are you helping someone with a temporary situation, so that they can not merely get through it, but can then do better? Or, will your donation of time, money, or product enable them to continue a way that is destructive of mind and spirit?

Avoid that which destroys. If there is no incentive to grow, to do better, and to pay back to the greater community, then it is not true charity. Doing such does no one any good, and is ultimately harmful to them, and to you on many levels.

If what you do will break the cycle, encourage or enable growth, and will help the recipients to help themselves, then it is true charity and worthy of all you can do.

Therefore, think before you act. Look beneath the surface, resist the easy thrill, and think. Do truly right by others, and in that way you do right by yourself, and we all will reap the rewards.

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