The Laughing Wolf

Way Of The Wolf: Honesty

Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship, be it with a person or with the wider world. To be honest is, for the most part, a very good thing and one to be followed within reason. Yet, there are limits and other considerations that must come into play when one is being honest.

To be honest means simply to tell the truth. If you are truthful in all you do, it implies that you are fair with others, that you do not act with malice, and that your word will be good. Most of the positive attributes of being truthful are really connotations of other virtues, for the one true attribute of truthfulness is that your veracity can not be doubted.

Being truthful, however, does not mean being a fool or hurtful towards others. There are times when it is acceptable, even wise, to be less than totally honest.

We all have met someone who prides themselves on being brutally honest. The operative word here is brutal. This person has a self-loathing that manifests itself in petty cruelty to others. Their version of perfect honesty is designed to hurt others, to harm if possible, because they themselves are hurt or crippled inside. Beware this person, and take what they say with a full tub of salt as their complete honesty is far from complete, but is merely a highly selective slice of the total picture.

A true man, male or female, will temper honesty with compassion and diplomacy as needed. There are times for brutal honesty, but it must be accompanied by compassion and a way out or remedy for the problem being addressed. Otherwise, what is being done is simply tearing down with no effort made towards building up. Anyone can tear down, but it takes a real man to build someone up.

Tempering honesty is a very good idea for reasons of safety. Any person who tells a new mother that their baby looks and acts like Gollum on a bad hair day fully deserves much more than what will happen to them. Even if it is true, it is not terribly wise to say such.

Always consider the consequences of what is being said. This is especially true where the well-being of others is concerned, but also applies to yourself as well. Consider the situation, evaluate, and then choose your words with care. The words can still be honest and true, but tempered with wisdom and mercy without diminishing them or yourself.

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