The Laughing Wolf

Some Commentary on Job Hunting

Rather, some commentary on what some things really mean:

Mail everything to us: We are old fashioned, fading, or small and regard e-mail, faxes, and the telephone as instruments of the devil that will cause the cows to give sour milk and the crops to fail. We are parsimonious, and are convinced everyone is out to lie, cheat, or steal. That Scrooge fellow was vastly misunderstood and his hired help should have been flogged to keep warm, not given a ridiculous amount of coal.

Use our proprietary WWW system 1: We are the mighty HR department of a very important company. We will display our power by making you waste large amounts of time by putting everything into our format and our categories. We do this because we are powerful and lazy, and because we really do think we can make you bark like a dog to get this job. Speak boy, speak! Roll Over!

Use our proprietary WWW system 2: Hi! We are incompetent and can’t figure out how to filter or translate things that come into our system. We also don’t have the budget to hire a bright high schooler to code a system for us, so please take a large amount of your time to do our work for us because we can’t.

You must mail hardcopies of all documents and samples: We want a huge paper trail, or rather we have to have one because we still don’t have our HR system up and running. Besides, our managers don’t know how to open PDF or other common document types, and we can’t afford to put in common filters to screen for viruses and such. This way, we know our system will stay clean, pure, and virginal which is just the way our admins like it, since we screw it up any time we try to do anything. Besides, this adds weeks to the process and gives us lots of extra work and the potential for overtime, while justifying our staffing levels.

More likely to come…