The Laughing Wolf

Remembrance

No, I did not post anything on the anniversary of Challenger or Columbia. At least, not until now. For both events are still painful and personal to me. I remember very well where I was both days, but it is where to go in the future with them that is the question.

Challenger occurred not long after I left journalism for greener and more honest pastures. As a journalist and a space enthusiast, I had gotten to know some of the astronauts and even spent a small amount of time with some of them. I still kick myself for turning down one invitation to fly cross country with one in a T-38. I had left that behind and was working at an Air Force Research and Testing Center when the thing we all dreaded happened.

It has never been a case of if we lost a shuttle, it was a matter of when. The astronauts know it, as do many science journalists. Given the complexity of the system, it is a statistical probability on loss; and, that is why having just four orbiters has always been a foolish decision. To lose Challenger in that way, through poor decisions and politics, hurt badly and should have been a clear signal about NASA. Politics outside the norm also played a role, since the only person who wanted to stop the launch could not: the administrator, who was suspended for a political investigation.

I counted myself fortunate that none of my friends was on that flight, but as a teacher it hurt to lose our first teacher in space. As a friend, it hurt that a friend of a friend was on that flight. What hurt even more was how few heads rolled over the loss.

Columbia found me on the beach, at home not long out of my job at NASA. Sad to say, the duty of telling my former NASA boss fell to me that morning. I called him and told him to get the television on as soon as I heard “contingency” that day, for I knew then that there was no hope.

The ache is still there, for few if any heads have rolled over what happened. Poor management, poor decisions, and the damnable politics yet again. I had worked that mission off and on for several years as it developed, and am thankful that I really did not know the crew well.

Again, it was a given that we would lose more as a matter of statistical probability. Again, it was not covered or planned for in any meaningful way. NASA was still so wrapped up in lip service to safety and the creation of a zero-defect culture that they failed the test of true safety and planning. Zero accidents, no lost workdays, and tons of lip service to crew safety came home to roost.

The fact is, going to space is risky, as is all exploration. Accidents happen, deliberate actions happen, and things go wrong. Exploration has never been easy, safe, or comfortable. Exploration is risky, it is dangerous, and it is not terribly comfortable no matter how much you work at it. You plan for the worst, hope for the best, and find out as you go how much reality differs from the ideal. You get cold, wet, hungry, thirsty, hurt, tired, and more at the best of times; equipment does not work as advertised; and, the best laid plans aft gang awry. It has been that way from the most ancient of days, yet there are always those willing to take the risk, endure the discomforts and hardships, and put it out there with no true expectation of reward.

Why is one of the most asked questions, but if you have to ask you can never truly understand the answer. I like the why not response, but there are others that apply equally as well.

Moving into space will be no different from exploring the next valley, climbing a mountain, reaching for the poles, or exploring the new world. It will be dangerous, uncomfortable, and imperfect. This fact is not brought out as it should be, and that is in and of itself one of the most dangerous shortfalls of the push to explore.

Part of this fault lies with NASA, for the comfortable lies it tells by omission. When pressed, NASA will admit that there is always a chance of failure and death, but immediately throws on tons of safety and preparedness fertilizer to complete cover the original point. NASA never willingly mentions such, often even to itself, and pretends that the shuttle is as safe as an airplane. Indeed, NASA goes to great lengths to assure the public that safety comes first and to create the false image that there is no risk.

Part of the fault lies with those who push space exploration and exploitation. We often cater to the public perception that it is safe as rain, that it is all just good clean fun. When pressed, we will admit that there is always a risk, and pour on tons of safety fertilizer to cover an uncomfortable point.

The fact is, that no matter who does it, when it is done, and how it is done, there will always be risk. We are going to lose vehicles, outposts, and people. We need to be honest about that, and to be different we should be upfront about it in our discussions and debates.

People, exploring space is not safe. Exploiting space is not safe. We are going to have accidents, and people will die. Just as automobile accidents kill a fair number every day, just as trains crash or derail and kill people, and just as airplanes fall from the sky, spacecraft are going to go boom. This will happen in one of the most unforgiving environments we have ever explored.

The deserts, the mountains, and the roaring deeps have nothing on space. You have temperature extremes that make desert life seem like paradise. You have radiation extremes that can cook you as fast as a microwave. Most of all, you have a vacuum that will provide a race between explosive decompression and freezing in the event of a suit leak, much less a vehicle accident.

So, accept it and put it honestly on the table. People are going to die, some in space and some on the ground. Others will be hurt or maimed, property lost or damaged, and other bad things will happen. We need to face it, and most of all we need to be sure that the average person on the street understands it.

They sure are not going to do so from NASA. When anything happens, there is much breast beating, things stop for a year or three, and then start up again pretty much as they were except for a lot of new restrictions and mandatory seminars. If the automotive industry operated in that fashion, we would be lucky to have oxcarts right now. If the aviation industry operated that way, we would still be using ships as the only means of intercontinental travel. If the shipping industry operated that way, we might still be stuck in one little valley in Africa.

When sailing ships were lost, others went out and eventually we learned and mapped currents, reefs, and land; and, we learned a lot about weather and being smart enough to run before the storm when need required. We learned about ship design, materials, and more. When planes crashed, we did not ground them all but instead kept flying and figured out not only what happened but used the combined knowledge to build new generations of craft. In less than 100 years we went from a short hop to the moon. We did not do this by wailing, restrictions, groundings, and meetings. We did it by figuring solutions and taking multiple approaches.

We did it by being honest. No one pretended that sailing was risk free. No one claimed that planes were safe, and the early days of aviation proved that they were not. No one claimed that finding out what lay beyond the next mountain was going to be a carefree lark.

This is the crux of my problem with the Day of Remembrance, or celebrating each anniversary. I will honor those that died, but I find that most of what goes on is a dishonor to them and what they were trying to do. It cheapens their loss and contributes to a thing, a system, that deceives the public and does a disservice.

To all those that have died, in space and on the ground, I salute you this day. You followed a great and worthy tradition, knew the risks, and took them anyway. You worked to push back the frontiers on many levels, and I honor you for it.

To all others, I say end the lie. Let’s be honest about the risks, the dangers, and the probabilities. We will lose more, for there is no such thing as perfect safety. We will work to minimize the risk and the losses, for we owe it to ourselves and to those who go where we currently cannot. We will make it a risk, and not a gamble. Yet, in the end, we will lose more. To pretend otherwise dishonors us all.

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