The Laughing Wolf

Way Of The Wolf: What Do You Hate?

It is almost a cliché these days in self-help circles that you should find out what you truly fear and face it. It is something that is a part of the Way Of The Wolf as well, but there is another side to this. Finding and facing the fears that hold you back is a good, if difficult, task. Yet, there is a much harder task that will finish what that starts: examining your hatreds.

This is not a “I HATE broccoli” issue, or dealing with strong dislikes, but a look at the things within us that we hate with an unreasoning passion. These hatreds are intense, and can quite often be extremely problematic in our lives. These need to be identified and examined, for the simple reason that which we hate so is very often a part of us that we fear. My parents taught me this lesson years ago, and it was a delight to have it confirmed later in formal studies.

A variety of psychology and related studies have shown that what we hate is most often a part of ourselves. It is a part we deny, fear, and do not want to acknowledge. It is a part of us that appears to fly in the face of all we believe and hold up in our lives. Some may see it as a dark part of our lives for that reason, or because it conflicts in some way with our religious and spiritual beliefs. It is because we recognize that thing within ourselves, and we do not want to admit to it. Therefore, it should be no surprise to find that according to studies that the most rabid of homophobes are likely to be latent homosexuals; that the most rabid opponents of alcohol are alcoholics or latent alcoholics; or, that the ones most into eliminating weapons are the ones who know what they would do with them if they had them. The list does go on.

Yet, we must face it, admit it, and deal with it so that we can move on in our lives. Dealing with it does not mean reveling in it to excess, or that it forces us to do something evil. Everyone has the occasional “evil” thought, but self-discipline and self-respect keep us from ever acting on the truly bad ones. It may be that there is a part of yourself that you need to acknowledge and bring forth. It may be that there is a part of you that you need to acknowledge and then apply discipline so that it is neutralized. There are often harmless ways to deal with some things. What matters is facing your inner demons squarely, and then dealing with them in a responsible manner.

Dealing with them will help us improve ourselves, our lives, and the world around us. For when we face our hatreds, we grow stronger and are far less likely to engage in the weaknesses of violence, bigotry, bullying. We are less likely to take out our self-hatred on others. That is one of the greatest gifts we can give to them, and to ourselves.

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