The Laughing Wolf

Way Of The Wolf: Who Do You Hate?

Hatreds extend to more than just things, they often focus in on people. There are specific people who come to embody the things we hate. Sometimes this is because they are publicly associated with the concept we hate, and sometimes it is because we project or transfer the negative to the person.

In the first case, there is a logical basis for the hatred of the person. In the second case, there is no logical basis save that the person has been chosen to be demonized by us. In both cases, hatred passes the boundaries of logic and reality and is something that will harm us far more than it will them.

Even when logic applies, rationality often does not. The mere existence of a logical connection does not make the hatred rational, right, or justified. Nor does it justify any action taken against the object of that hatred, most especially visitation of harm. It can be fun to think about someone getting exactly what they deserve, but that is pretty much where it needs to remain: a pleasant day dream. Unless and until the person poses a risk under the precepts of rational pacifism, no action against them is justified. You can speak or preach against them all you want, but until they cross the line you can do nothing other than persuade.

Hatred is a negative, counter-productive emotion that clouds the mind and reason. Just as hatred of a thing or concept is often rooted in fear and loathing of something within us, the people we hate – not just dislike to some degree – often reveals more about us than about them. For very often the things we hate about another person are the things we hate about ourselves. The traits or action we are so passionate about in another are often the ones we hate the most in ourselves, or that we fear will become our dominant traits. If we hate someone (other than a spouse) because they cheated on their marriage vows, it is often because we fear that we lack the strength of will to maintain our own. If we hate someone because they are or appear to be a coward, it can often be because we fear that we could be a coward too. If we hate someone because they are strong and take decisive action, it may well be that we fear what we would do with that power. Just as was pointed out earlier, the person who is scared of weapons can be so because they know or fear what they would do with them.

The strong power of hatred can actually facilitate this process, so that in pursuit of our hatred we become that which we hate. So stop and think about the individuals you truly hate: what is it about them that you truly hate, and might it not be a reflection of something you dislike or fear in yourself? Set aside the hate, and deal with the issue that is in you. Grow in yourself, and you will be strong enough to set aside your hate.

This does not mean accepting or tolerating a wrong behavior in others. There are plenty of more useful and constructive emotions to bring to bear: pity, scorn, even intense dislike or anger. What it does mean is the strength of will to master yourself, to confront and control your fears, and to serve as a guide to others through that.

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