The Laughing Wolf: Some Food For Thought: Neighbors

March 27, 2004

Some Food For Thought: Neighbors

Last night a bit after one in the morning, I was awakened by flashing lights in the window. After some slightly fuzzy wondering if you could be raided for excessive non-sex live, I got up to check on things. Outside was a fire truck, but it was also clear that fire was not an issue, which meant medical. Sure enough, here came the ambulance.

Now, from the actions of all, it was clear that there was not a crisis, and apparently the person in trouble walked out and got on the gurney themselves. Oxygen mask and such went on, and all soon went away. A not atypical scene in many areas, but one that made me think.

I did not recognize or know the neighbor. I did not go outside and check on them or the situation. No one else did either. As I got back in bed, I thought back to my childhood and how the same situation had played out more than once. For it was different and that says something that we need to think about. Indeed, it said several things.

Today, I know my neighbors by sight far more than I do by name. A good bit of that is just my bad memory, but it also speaks to a bit more. I know the people in my breezeway, not well, but enough to say hi or nod to. When you think about it, I don’t really know them at all. The next breezeway is like another world, and I know no one there at all. I do know a couple of other neighbors: the lady in the building across from mine who works at my usual grocery; the chili head who lives near the mailbox building who is wonderful with animals and is owned by one or more parrots; the grandmother who is raising the charming 4-year-old. That’s about it.

In the past, I knew by name the neighbors on all sides of me, and most of the people for several hundred yards in each direction up and down the street. Shoot, we even knew some a block or two away – a huge distance for a small child. You knew when someone moved out, and you welcomed someone new moving in to the neighborhood.

When fire or ambulance vehicles came (police were a rarity on patrol or in response), you went and checked on where it was going. The neighbors came out and went to see, not just the sights, but if there was a way they could help. When the older neighbor approached a fireman to see how Vera was doing, she was treated politely, even if nothing could be said. She was never treated rudely, threatened with arrest, or manhandled – as things tend to go today.

Maybe it is the crowd thing, such that cops and others automatically see them as a threat. Perhaps it is much more. It is something to think about a bit, and about how I, and you, as individuals can do something about it. There is one thing I can do, and I will start doing it in the next few days: I can knock on some doors, and make some introductions. How about you?

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Posted by wolf1 at March 27, 2004 01:48 PM | TrackBack

Comments

Unfortunately, these days, knocking on others' doors may end up with the residents calling the cops on you; it's that bad in many so-called nice neighborhoods.

Posted by: MommaBear at March 27, 2004 02:30 PM

I completely agree with your insights. I don't know my neighbors and (to be honest) won't change that at this home. I tried, when I first moved in, but met with a lot of cold stares.

My hope, in my new neighborhood, is to start off on a better foot. You are correct, things have changed,and not necissarily for the better.

Posted by: Tammi at March 27, 2004 04:19 PM

It may just be that the part of Oak Cliff I lived in was an anachronism, but some of those things didn't change much from when I was a kid. Only the faces changed over the years.
We knew most of the neighbors over on Lillian for about a block and a half radius at least by sight well enough to say hello to, and to stop and shoot the breeze a bit when I passed by their house on the way to the corner store. Knew the kids, knew the cars and vice versa, and had a tendencies to exchange phone numbers and to call and ask if we saw something out of the ordinary by someone's house.

I do know what you mean though. That's not the case in a lot of other "neighborhoods" I've lived in in various parts of the country over the years. It is something that can stand to change.

Posted by: Ironbear at March 27, 2004 09:16 PM

Wow. This really hit a chord with me today. I was just thinking this morning how blessed I am with wonderful neighbors. I'm out in BFE land (nearest town 6 miles). As a single mom, I'm most appreciative of my friends across the street Ruben and Kathie (he's a county cop, she's an x-er nurse), Dave and Anne and family 1/8 mile away who have become my best friends in the last six years, Randy behind me who jumps dead batteries, pulls minivans out of snowbanks and is there at my beck and call, Larry down on Hill road who on two occasions came to help round up some loose cattle in the neighborhood, and Jack and Kitty who throw a great party every summer complete with barbershop quartet (Jack's group won the International Competition in Toronto last year!). I grew up in inner city Detroit and will NEVER live in a city again!

Posted by: MargeinMI at March 28, 2004 12:29 AM

The neighborhood I lived in (the one before the HOM) was friendly and open, helping and welcoming. We all knew what was happening. We were like family, except we all got along better. I miss that. Maybe I can create that feeling here....

Insightful post, LW. Wonderful food for thought.

Posted by: Da Goddess at March 29, 2004 08:11 AM

Part of it is the neighborhood, and part is the neighbors. Where my parents live, they know some of their neighbors. They know the people on one side and two across the street by name. They talk to the ones on the other side, but there is a language barrier, and there is the same sort of cultural barrier you see now.

I live about 3/4 of a mile away in the same Pleasant Grove Neighborhood, and I don't know any of my neighbors by name. I know them by sight -- the painters, the Asian family, the Family with the kids and Chow -- but I don't really hold conversations with them. We share a lot of the blame, though. My father has always been one to seek out the neighbors, and it shows. I've never had the tendency to seek out anyone.

Posted by: Phelps at March 29, 2004 09:13 PM

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