The Laughing Wolf

The Day Is Here

Well, the time is now and posting may be lite for a day or three. Much depends on how I feel afterwards, and much of that depends on how much comes off the end of the collar bone.

I do hope I get a good gas passer this time. When I had my knee scoped 20 or so years ago, I had a good one. He knew that I sometimes do strangely with drugs and that I might be a challenge. He prepped, and I benefited. I think it is the only time I’ve gone out laughing. He was so determined to do me right, that he prepared a special concoction. I started counting backwards, and when I got to 93 my eyes crossed. The last thing I heard was this exultant, satisfied, and smug “Gotcha!!” that I just made me laugh. He really was good, because in recovery, when I came out, by the time the nurse logged my awakening and turned back around, I was dressed and ready to go. Went and had pizza afterwards. Almost every other time I’ve been under, it has not been pretty on the recovery end.

To answer a question, I do and I don’t have a problem with being put to sleep. Overall, I don’t because I do expect to wake up again. I do have a problem with it because I tend to see stopping as death. Because of everything growing up, and having it tossed in my face more often than necessary, I did and do equate stopping with death. Even my rest involved/s a book, for like many before me who could not live life fully one way, I lived and explored mine through the written word. Encyclopedias, adventures, National Geographic, you name it, I read it. To this day I have a hard time just sitting still – I have to read or do something else. A habit I need to break.

I told a boss’s boss one time that I often needed a vacation from my vacations. Since I have a hard time with the sitting and relaxing thing, I tend to hike, climb mountains, or just walk. I have to do. Even on the beach, or sitting in a pub, I pull out a book. I really do need to learn how to relax, to live in the now, and just enjoy what is. I do that far too seldom, and enjoy it when I do it, but just can’t seem to be able to allow myself to do it on a regular basis. Need to work on that.

The place is still a disaster and I hate to let anyone see it. I did get some vacuuming done, got my bathroom sort of clean. Still not where I want it, but in pretty good shape. The carpet really needs cleaning, but that will have to wait. Close a few doors, and things should be okay. Do wish I could have gotten to the guest bath a bit more…

Well, I will see you all sometime when. If all goes very well, and the gas guy is good, it may be tomorrow. If not, it will be as soon as I can and when I am not on pain juice --- or at least too much of it. Take care of yourselves, and go visit the fine blogs listed on the right.

LW