The Laughing Wolf

Food For Thought: Matters of Life And Death

One of the bits of personal business this last week was a meeting with the people who literally hold the power of life and death over me: holders of power(s) of attorney and executors. Now, I can already hear some people complaining that this is supposed to be a cheerful and upbeat post, and this subject is a drag. I disagree, and based on my view of life (plan for the worst, hope for the best, and take what comes because whatever you plan for never happens), this is upbeat.

The fact is, we all have plans for ourselves and our stuff. We know what we want and don’t want, and we have ideas about who should have what. Given the State’s interest in our stuff and where it goes, over a little matter of taxes and what else it can skim, it behooves us to make proper plans so that our stuff does not end up going to the greedy and grasping State, nor is our life and death left to something increasingly bloated and without honor in such matters.

Think it can’t happen? Take a look at what happens in your location to those who die without a will (intestate). In most cases, the State gets to decide who gets what, in what way, in what time, and with little or no choice as to taxes and fees or outright confiscation. There have been more than a few corruption problems in this area before, and many widows, children, or other survivors have been cheated out of everything, from their home to family heirlooms. Keep in mind that they will probably name some “friend of the court” to be Executor of your estate. If you want tragedy and circus in equal proportions, take a look at what happens when the State gets to decide on individual care and terminal care. None of this is a pretty sight, and is something to be avoided by any sane individual.

So, avoid the possibility – and ensure your long life – by making your decisions now, and by making them known in a legally binding manner. If you can’t afford full lawyer’s fees, there are many inexpensive or free services that will help you create and file wills and powers of attorney.

I’ve had a will since I was a teenager, because I owned land and needed to ensure its smooth passage, and have had powers of attorney/living wills since almost the same time because the State became involved with terminal care issues. Actually, my first such was more an “insurance policy” with a friend (and a shotgun) who would deal with the situation if I was ever placed on life support with no hope. Such things are much better handled for all concerned by appropriate paper, but it was reassuring to know the “policy” was out there.

Your will simply says who gets what, and who is responsible for getting stuff to the right location. The person responsible is the Executor/Executrix, and they have the power under law to make sure all your legal wishes are carried out. There are some limits on them, so make your wishes fairly reasonable, and they can and will take care of it. The key here is to select someone you trust completely, and have at least two people of equal integrity on standby to take over in case something happens to the first choice. Having backup ensures that the State has minimal involvement, and cuts down considerably on lawyer’s fees, court costs, filing fees, and the like. Having been through this process several times now, I will testify that backups and such are a very good thing.

Now, I did have a complex will, actually I still do. My will first of all saw to the care and protection of my father, so that he would be taken care of as best possible if anything happened to me. There were other provisions where I took care of a number of other people, mostly cousins, did some charitable trusts, and more. Many things have changed, however, most import is the fact that my father is no longer an issue. Having been through the process more than once has also played into things, and I have learned both to keep it simple and a few “tricks” to cut down on legal interactions, fees, and such. I will be making a number of changes as a result.

My single bit of advice here is to keep it as simple as possible. Pick a good person as your Executor (and backups), and trust them to do the job. Don’t place a lot of burdens on them, indemnify them, and trust them to do the job. With luck, all they will have to do is pay the lawyer for helping file, any filing fees, and then they can tell the lawyer and the State where to go. Your stuff can then go where you want it to go. A “trick” to consider where the lawyers will allow it is to give the Executor/Executrix everything, and provide them with non-lawyered, non-binding (except morally) written instructions on who gets what. My Mom did this very simply: she had written notes taped to things with the name of who should get it, history, and other details. Made life very much easier for Dad and myself.

To my mind, even more important than the Will is the power of attorney issue. Powers of Attorney can cover many things, and I have two: one for general and financial issues, and one for healthcare.

Let’s say that something really bad happens to us, such as being tackled by Al Franken or Spongemike Sweatpants, and we end up in the hospital in a coma. Who pays your bills? Who collects your insurance? Who goes after those that hurt you, and seeks settlements on your behalf? Who feeds the cats? Who can even go in your apartment or home, legally? These are the types of things handled by a general power of attorney. I have picked a lead and backups that I trust with all my things without reservation, and through this document have given them the power to access all my accounts, pay bills, make investment decisions, declare bankruptcy, make or break leases, and otherwise do whatever is needed to take care of my estate, with the goal of conserving and expanding if circumstances allow. Given that I have selected people who are far better financial managers than I, it is entirely possible that should this be invoked, I might even wake up to find myself in far better shape than I was before.

Having this is crucial, because without it your friends or family must hire lawyers, go to court, and pay out the nose to have the state declare that it is legal for them to do this. The State may also place a lot of limits on them, and will also not indemnify them or otherwise ensure that they do not incur massive obligations and expenses. Think about this, because even if they have keys it may not be legal for them to enter your home, especially if it is a rental property, without your previously existing legal authorization. If they remove anything, it is theft. If they touch any of your financial assets, it can be both theft and tax fraud. There is also no guarantee that any friend or family member of yours will be picked by the State to be holder of . It may well be a lawyer or other “friend of the court” who is no friend to you and yours. Don’t take the chance.

While your estate is being take care of, you also need to have a Power of Attorney for Healthcare in place (along with a living will or other documents required in your locality) to ensure that YOU are taken care of in the manner you desire. Simply telling people is not enough. I have seen in real life people who knew the wishes of the sick/injured party fail to convey them or carry them out, because they did not have the strength, courage, or integrity to do so. It is a difficult burden, because you are putting your life in their hands. If you have elected not to receive heroic measures or other existence prolonging measures, you are literally asking that person to kill you. Make sure that you are not asking more than they can do.

My father trusted me to do that for him, and I trusted him to do the same. It was something we had discussed quite a bit, and we knew each other’s limits and desires for treatment, and for termination. I have discussed it quite a bit with those who now hold that power over me, and they know how I feel and I know that while they will not like it and it will make them sad, they have the courage and moral integrity to kill me. They have the strength not to keep me around and force me to suffer for their selfish desire not to let go. They love me fully enough to let me go when it is my time. When you pick your people, pick wisely, and do not ask too much of them. Nor should you think less of those you know can’t handle that duty. But pick them you must, for whether you live or exist rides with them. Otherwise, the State will make the decisions regardless of your wishes and desires, often with court processes that will last (and place burdens on your estate) for years and even decades after you are finally gone. Don’t go there.

As I said before, there are services that will help you set up such things for inexpensive (don’t go cheap on this!) or for free. Get forms and such from the WWW, fill them out, and get them to a service so that they are properly done and filed as needed, so that they are in force to protect you. Make sure your decision makers have copies of all notarized, filed, or needed documents. Hospitals and others will demand to see such copies, ID, and a lot more to cover themselves, so make sure you have proper legal copies of each. Once you do this, then think about it: you have planned for the worst. What you plan for never happens. Life is good, and you have taken mature steps to ensure that it remains good.

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