The Laughing Wolf

The Crash, No Burn: The Spin Begins

Well, this morning sees the spin winding up in this article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. There is a hint of "that damned internet right-wing lynch mob" along with the obligatory comments by the governor that his running mate was a good but misunderstood person. In short, pretty much a standard old-style political response to a problem.

That doesn't work anymore.

Let's take this by the numbers. Knoll shows up at the funeral, says she arrived too late to pay her respects to the widow and other immediate family members, then hands out business card(s) and makes a comment about how the government does not support the war. Apparently too busy to stay and offer her condolences in person, Knoll finds the time to ham it up for the cameras outside and talk with the media.

Word gets out and a firestorm starts in. Knoll is travelling and unavailable. The governor rises to her defense but also makes the asinine statement that it is not the responsibility of the government to support the war, only to support those that fight it. This is also the same governor who did his best to keep as many absentee military ballots from being counted last election... There are reports that Knoll phoned the family and left a message of some sort on the answering machine. Finally, Knoll's office offers up a letter of apology but Knoll refuses to discuss the matter, answer any questions, nor will she otherwise acknowledge what is going on -- the excuse is in part that she is still travelling and apparently has not mastered the use of telephones, mobile phones, or laptops and the internet. Since she will not meet anyone in person, perhaps she is now hiding in one of Dick Cheney's unused undisclosed locations...

The letter is one of the worst efforts I have ever seen in the real world or even in schools. The Paragraph Farmer does a good takedown of it in general. See the whole sorry thing at Michelle Malkin's, and also read her previous takes here and here. See also Blackfive's take.

Allow me to go into some communications 101.

First, you never, ever, ever start any letter with "FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE" You start press releases with that, not letters. If you are going to release a private letter, you do a formal release and attach the letter to it. If you have to provide background, obfuscate, explain, nuance, or whatever, you do it in the release, not the letter. It is like hand addressing Christmas (or Holiday) cards instead of machine labelling them. Doing a letter like this smacks of desperation, is amateurish, and defeats the purpose of the letter.

Second, you want to write clearly instead of opaque. The writing here is as clear as concrete, and is written so that it says truly nothing. Key phrases have modifiers that make their meaning unclear. Anything other than Keep It Simple Stupid does not work for this type of letter, and the use of jargon and lots and lots of unnecessary phrases indicates weaseling.

Third, you want to write active voice. It is part of writing clearly, but it is also a separate issue. This letter is about as active as a dead parrot.

Fourth, you don't clarify and take them to task, you explain.

I could go on, but that hits the high points, or the low points in this case. On a non-gramatical and substantive basis, the letter has more than a pinch of Turbin Durbin "I'm sorry you revolting peasants were not smart enough to understand and appreciate my clearly presented and finely nuanced thoughts" along with what I take as "it's all about me, don't you get that?" Oh, and a dash of "I'm sorry I got caught" as well.

Stonewalling and meaningless phrases used to work when it was just the Old Media. If you want something that works in today's marketplace, consider the following:

"Dear Mrs. Goodrich,

Please accept my heartfelt apologies for any pain caused by my uninvited appearance at the funeral of your husband, SSgt Joseph Goodrich. To add to your grief and suffering, and to that of your family and friends, was not my intention.

Since the start of the War, I have tried to attend as many funerals of our fallen heroes as possible to show support for those who serve. During those visits, I also give my card to the family, so that they can contact me directly to ask for assistance if there are any problems with state or other benefits. Please know that I am here for you, as I am for all military families, if I can be of assistance.

I sincerely regret my fault in not arriving on time to express my condolences in person, and any misunderstanding and pain caused by my actions. Such was not my intention, and I am very sorry for what has happened.

Know that my heart and prayers are with you, your family, and friends as they are with all the families of those fallen in defense of freedom. In my role as Lt. Governor, I will do all I can to support the troops, and as an American support our President. If there is anything I can do to help make right this situation, or assist you in any way, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Sincerely,

XXXXX"

That is a letter of apology. It is clear, precise, avoids things that the sender frantically wants avoided, and remains sincere. If done right, it gets the job done and stops the storm. What actually came out was a poorly written and considered piece of hackery.

Today, the words are flowing and the spin is on. By their actions may you judge them. My question to the people of Pennsylvania still stands:

Is this someone who you want representing you, and do they and the government of which they are a part represent you and your beliefs?

Just asking, and you do have an election coming up...

LW

Previous coverage here.

UPDATE: Michelle has more. As does Blackfive.