The Laughing Wolf

The Joys Of The Annual Physical

Well, not quite annual since I missed it last year. I had promised my new doc that we would do a real full physical, and have kept that promise. So far, so good with the worst to date is a mole that will have to be gotten off soon. Blood Pressure is up, but not enough to worry them too much so far, though it does me as I am usually lower and for most of my 30's was a 120 over 80 guy. Bloodwork and other fluids are in the lab, and we could have results back this afternoon later. A stress test will be done, but not this afternoon. I can live with that, though I am not happy about having to take more time.

My new doc is working out well so far. She talks to me, does not talk down to me, and even did a running commentary during the exam of what she was finding, what she was looking for, and how things were. In point of fact, she even taught me some new things to look for when doing an exam. For example, some things in regards the lower legs and feet that can indicate that cardiac circulation might need to be checked. Note that the indicators do not mean that all is well if they are good, but that if they are not good it is a good idea to check other things too. She invited my participation when discussing lab work, and took a couple of suggestions/requests I made in that regards. In turn, I had to laugh at her comments in regards males not doing yearly physicals and gave oath that I would do one each year. After all, as she and I agreed, it just makes good sense.

The lab vampire was really good, which was great in that we ended up having to draw 10 or more different vials for the various tests. I barely felt the stick, and she handled things so well I could only tell about three of the changeouts on vials. She was also kind enough to "order" me to go get food and coffee because of the amount drawn. An order I cheerfully obeyed.

That is really the part I dread the worst, the blood. It goes back to when I was very young: with all the problems I had there was a lot of blood taken and a LOT of shots given. Like three times a week given at a minimum. I can give shots to others. On a really good day I might can draw blood, and can cut on someone in an extreme emergency. Doing unto others does not bother me that much. Needles or such coming at me however...

Despite what anyone says, I have never hit a nurse over a shot. I did, however, scare the hell out of one. A nurse that was advised of my problems with needles decided to show me it was all in my head, and decided to sneak up on me and do it to make a point. Bad call. First, she obviously had never been through a sneak and peek course. Second, she tried coming up on the blind spot on my right. Third (and more ad nauseam), she had never been trained to sneak. End result was that when she hit a certain point, I reverted to training. The fact is, I caught myself and as a result my right hand did not clear past the shoulder and smash the bridge of her nose. End result, she left and another nurse gave me my shot -- from the front and with no games. Good stick too...

That was not the worst I have done though. I think the worst was when I was little, about 5, one of my first times in the hospital for surgery. Remember, this was long ago when dinosaurs still ruled the earth and ether was still used in some places. They came to get blood, and I took one look at the huge-bore trash can that was masquerading as a needle, and had a fit. They calmed me down and I finally, tearfully asked if I could have a last request. Touched, the nurses said sure. I screamed "HEEEELLLLLPPPPP!" at the top of my lungs.

I think that stuff hit the floor because they were laughing so hard. They had to go off and collect themselves, and even then they had problems. The nurse would come back, walk in the door, look at me, and get a case of the giggles that grew and grew so that she had to walk out again. They eventually got someone from another floor to do me, and warned them "No last requests." I figure that their ribs hurt after that.

No such drama today. Instead, I have to keep reminding myself that the stress test is not a "test" and is not a challenge. Right. Like I'm not going to treat it as such...

More later, off to rehydrate...

LW