2015: It was the worst of times, and it was the best of times.
It was far from the worst year of my life, but it was not a fun year. It was the year I started rebuilding my life.
2015 taught me many lessons. It taught me that I do have the capacity for love, and that I do have the courage to put myself out there and handle the joys and the heartbreak that entails. It was a year of loss, but reminded me that I am richer for having known those who chose to leave my life, and especially for knowing those who left this world last year.
2015 was a year where I cut some baggage and drama from my life. It was a year I let some chose to leave, and while it was painful, I am the better for it. It is good to have anchors for the storms of life, but having anchors who just want to drag you down into the depths with them are things to be cut. It was and is a reminder that you can’t save anyone, if you can’t and won’t save yourself.
It was a year that saw me move from being homeless to having a home, or at least a room in a home. My landlord is a good person, and has encouraged me to grow, and to be a bit more social in life. He, and his house, are a bit unconventional, and I’ve loved that. Having a place where I’m accepted as I am, and encouraged and challenged is an amazingly wonderful thing.
2015 was the year I decided to make some moves, from some part-time employment to changes in my writing and photography. Part of that is a return to some of my roots (photography), and to finally taking the long-encouraged plunge into fiction. It’s not just that I am more than a bit burnt-out on PR and marketing, but was stagnant — not an easy admission to realize or make. My initial forays into fiction have been well received, and I have plans to work to take that much, much further in 2016.
2015 was the year that reminded me that family is not just blood, but the friends we make — including some friends I never knew I had. This process started a couple of years ago, and I realized in 2015 just how rich I was for those people. What I am doing now would not have been possible without them. 2014 ended on a very low note for me, one that scared me as I had hit a point where I truly did not care if I lived or died. 2015 saw me start back up from that point.
It was a year where I met some very special people, including a very special lady. It taught me that I may actually be able to love and cherish, and while the plans to spend the rest of my life with someone did not work out, I was shown that such was and is possible. I am also glad to have that lady as a friend as I move forward into 2016.
2015 ended with me physically, mentally, and emotionally tired — and that is a good thing. Hard work never killed anyone, and is good for body and soul. That is far more than mere physical labor.
2016 starts with new opportunities at the part-time job, and I love the challenge and opportunity. It starts with new opportunities for the writing and photography I love. It starts with a lot of thought and reflection done in 2015 about what I truly want in life, and some ideas on how to make those things happen.
2016 will, with a lot of hard work, be much better than 2015. That’s true of any year, but this year starts with some good foundations in place. It may not be a comfortable year, but making changes, improving ourselves and our lot in life is never comfortable. It is, however, the only way to grow and improve.
2016 will see loss, that is a given. Some will die, and some will chose to leave my life. Some will not like the choices I make, or that I will chose to embrace parts of my life of which they disapprove. That is their choice, and I will wish them well. I will mourn those who die, and will work to remember them with a smile and thanks for being a part of my life.
2016 will be a year of hard decisions. Every year is. For some decision points, there may be no good options for the immediate — the key is to make the best decision possible not just for the immediate, but for the long-term. One good thing about starting is that we can chose to keep that which is good and best, and let go of the parts that hold us back. New lives do not have to be a mirror of the old.
To the worst of 2015, I say good riddance. And thanks for helping me think and grow.
To the best of 2015, I say thank you, and for making it possible for me to be in a place where I can improve and grow.
May 2016 be a good year for us all.