Laughing Wolf

Monday, November 26, 2007

I Am Here

Just a bit behind, particularly responding to e-mails and such.  I have finished a four-part series on the embed, and am now working on yet another major article and several smaller-but-important ones for Blackfive.  The public presentation on the trip has been finished and presented twice last week.  I do appreciate all the good wishes and thoughts, though I will note that while I will pass on the blanket but do send the spirits.  More soon,

LW

Does Anyone Know

Of a good compendium, pref. online and free, of grants/grant-giving agencies?  If not free, then moderately priced? 

Thursday, November 22, 2007

A Day To Give Thanks

I’ve posted part of what I have been thinking and feeling over at Blackfive, but there is so much more.  The last few weeks since my return have definitely been interesting in terms of the ancient curse.  A suicide, multiple car problems, work issues, various hits and slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  It would be easy to dwell upon it, and some bad things that had happened before. 

But, I’ve been reminded by life that I have much for which to be thankful this year; and, that for all that which has happened that hurts, darkens, or just plain stumps, there is so much more that brings joy and pleasure, illuminates, and advances.  Often there is but the thinnest of lines between the two, and it takes so little to move one’s eye from the dark to the light. 

Today, I give thanks that I am here at home, watching the snow come down, the dog curled up nearby snoozing, and a nice meal ahead (I hope).  I give thanks that I do have a job, that I have opportunities for other jobs and/or additional work.  I give thanks that I have constructive outlets for my demons, and outlets for my light.  I give thanks at the wonders, beauty, and amazing things I have gotten to see this year.  I give thanks that I also saw terrible things, for they make me appreciate good things more.  I give thanks for the harmonious, interesting, powerful, stirring, and peaceful sounds I have heard.  I also give thanks for the noise, the scary, the heartrending, and the painful things I have heard, for hearing them lends appreciation to life.  I give thanks for the contrasts, for the reminders to grow, and all the other opportunities and labors this year. 

Most of all, I give thanks to good acquaintances and true friends.  I have been reminded how good some of you are, and have had my eyes opened to some who were there that I did not recognize.  For all that were less than they seemed, so many more have stood forward for being so much more. 

I could literally list blessings and give thanks all day, but for now I will go and do two things that celebrate them all.  I will go start the hardwood and hardwood charcoal so that I can begin roasting a turkey breast, so that Jenny and I can share a feast together.  The breast, along with some chicken, has brined (salt, brown sugar, vegetable stock, allspice, peppercorns, candied ginger) overnight, been washed, and awaits being stuffed with aromatics (apple, cinnamon, herbs, and more) and put on to smoke and roast.  There will be roasted sweet potato done as well, and once the turkey comes off, I will grill some chicken breasts, squash (balsamic vinegar marinade, coat with olive oil, steak seasoning), Iraqi rice (trying to recreate some I had in Iraq with spices and with a raisin and almond garnish), pickled beets, tree ripened olives, garlic stuffed olives, and maybe a bit more.  Add in some asagio cheese bread and European-style butter (screw the diet!), and I think Jenny and I will enjoy. 

As you celebrate, think of the blessings in the food and how they tie into so many more in our lives.  Think of the good, and most especially of the good people, and give thanks for all that is in our lives.

LW

Saturday, November 17, 2007

PTSD:  A Must Read

If you have served; if you have been LE or related; if you have a family member who has served; and, most especially, if you are friends with, significant other to, or otherwise connected emotionally with someone who has served, then GO READ THIS NOW. 

I would add that if you are one of the ones who thinks that someone with PTSD is broken, damaged, crippled, etc., then you really, really need to go read it:  they aren’t the one with the problem, you are.  Don’t believe me?  Then go read, follow the links, and think a bit. 

Git, and don’t come back until you have read it.

LW

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Correcting A Mistake

In life, we all make mistakes.  The mark of a Man, male or female, is what one does after the mistake. 

The last few weeks since my return have been stressful, hectic—frenetic even—and demanding.  There is more to come, and to those in Easy Company as well as the 1st of the 4th Marines, your stories are coming.  Suffice it to say that had I known half of what awaited, I would have stayed in Iraq (didn’t want to leave, but that is another post) even had it meant taking a job cleaning out port-a-potties by hand.  I have made mistakes, or have discovered past mistakes, in regards people, places, and things. 

One mistake, made for all the right reasons and with the best of intentions (yes, the road to Hell surely is paved with them), has been corrected. 

Jenny is home. 

LW

Sunday, November 04, 2007

What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up

About five years ago, I did one of these personal growth and assessment studies.  It was a good thing to do, and even a bit fun.  Some of the things to come out of it have helped lead to some of the things in my life now:  working with wolves, blogging here and at Blackfive, and a job where I get to work with people literally striving to heal people around the globe.  No, the process didn’t say go find a way to get into blogging; rather, it identified a need to generate opportunities and to encourage me to take them when they came up.  The key is that it identifies strengths and how to play into them; weaknesses and how to improve or circumvent them; and, identify and prioritize the need for change.

Well, five years has passed and it is time to do the exercise again.  This time, I thought it would be fun to see what you might have to contribute in terms of thoughts, suggestions, and perspectives.  I’m not going to bring in all the process and such, but here is where you can have some fun via your take on what you think I should do with my life.  One of the key things is that almost nothing is off the table.  All career and life choices, from being a professional dominant to becoming a zoo keeper to plugging along in the same career path are subject to consideration.  Please note that it is dominant and not dominatrix, as the almost nothings I have chosen are anything that involve gender change surgery (surgery/modification in general), anatomically impossible acts, or things that require a high-degree of coordination and dexterity since I lack the latter (in spades).  Open for consideration are radical career change, minor career change, relocation, and education. 

I have my previous list of strengths, weaknesses, and possibilities:  what are your takes on each?  Suggestions?  Have fun with it, and I will be doing the same.

LW

Project Valour-IT:  Auctions

It is the time of year for the Valour-IT fundraiser, and I have put up photos, space memorabilia, and even my last autographed Heinlein in the auctions.  Coming back from my embed, I was honored to be asked to help present some of these laptops to severely wounded troops, with humbling and intimidating being two words to describe this most remarkable and wonderful experience.  The difference these laptops make can not be overstated, so get over there and bid, or just go make a donation to TEAM ARMY!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Anyone Ever See T1G and Jason Together?

Flipping through programs last night, I stopped on AMC showing Friday the 13th part unknown with a start.  Not at the horror (such as it is), but in recognition.  Seen from the front, and a bit from below, I knew who that was.  The look, the walk, the anger, the determiantion:  Jason my fuzzy rump, that was T1G in that mask. 

LW

Into The Light:  Hank Reinhart

Not a lot of information yet, but Hank Reinhart has passed into the light today.  If you know weapons, particularly edged weapons, then you know about Hank.  I’ve heard him described any number of ways, but he was always courteous to me and was helpful in many ways and on many occasions.  He freely shared some of his hard-won knowledge with me, saved me from some bad decisions in regards weapons, and his knowledge of history (not to mention the technological history of weapons and the impact of same on the history of the time) was amazing.  I lift a glass to you, and I ask you to keep his wife Toni in your thoughts in the days ahead. 

LW

NOTE:  Mourn him? No.  Miss him?  Yes.  Celebrate his life and be glad that I knew him even briefly?  Hell Yes! 

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Never Rains But…

Add to the unexpected the loss of some dental work this evening… Do hope my dentist isn’t too busy. 

LW

Iraq Stories and Photos Starting To Get Up

I still have a lot to write, process, and do, but there is a start here, here, here, here, and here. 

Monday, October 22, 2007

Hey, Sgt. Gus!

Congratulations. 

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Jenny’s Choice

When I was preparing to go on the embed, the one thing I did not have to worry about was Jenny.  Monty Sloan, the nature photographer, stepped up and offered immediately to keep her.  Most canids seem to regard Monty as a deity, and he can do things to and with them that would get anyone else severely hurt.  Canids fawn over him, and seem to delight in having him work with them—and Jenny had already benefited from his willingness to teach and train.  Alicia, who shares the house with him, was a little less enthusiastic, but I also knew that she liked Jenny and had faith that Jenny would charm her.  It also didn’t hurt that Alicia is not what I would call a slouch when it comes to working with animals either. 

I’m not implying that Jenny was socially inept with other canids; nor do I hint that she needed some work in regards people either—I’m flat out stating it.  I don’t know for sure what life she had before she was tossed out the car, but from watching and studying her body language and behaviors, it was what I would think was lacking.  She is a compulsive kisser-upper, her minding behaviors have interesting gaps, throwing motions make her tuck and cringe, and getting in the car brought about what I will simply term extreme reluctance behaviors. 

Over this last year, primarily with Monty, the social issues with canids and some of the other behaviors (or lack thereof) have been worked.  Using suggestions from Monty and Pat, I worked on other things at home, with some positive results.  One thing I decided early on was to take her in the car just on random errands, so that she would eventually realize that car trips didn’t mean getting tossed out, taken to the vet, or—worse yet from her viewpoint—the groomers (ICK!). 

Jenny did adapt, and got where she loved to do certain things very much.  Despite her previous life and some diffidence in displaying some emotions/behaviors, she also was quite willing to show certain things.  Some of our earliest trips together, especially to the vet and groomers, resulted in her pointedly sitting in the passenger seat with her back to me, positively radiating waves of “I am NOT! happy with you!”

One other area where she didn’t hesitate to show how she felt was when it came to leaving somewhere.  When it came to the vet and groomers, not even reinforced pressure-formed ferroconcrete could stand up to her.  She had a range of behaviors, major and minor, that clearly indicated when she wanted to leave somewhere.  From greeting, to response to the leash, they were clear as if sending up flares.  Once displayed, that was the final word.  I still laugh at the night when I went to pick her up from spending the day out with her boyfriend at Monty’s, and said boyfriend threw himself down in front of the front door in an effort to prevent her leaving (I should mention that Jenny is roughly 35 lbs and Chumley is roughly 125 lbs), and Jenny walked right over him with almost disdain as he had failed to keep the door from opening. 

When I returned from Iraq earlier this week, I had asked Monty if Jenny could stay until the weekend as there were a number of things I needed to do (including rest a bit).  It wasn’t a problem, so we waited.  I knew Jenny had charmed them, and that things were going extremely well on several fronts for her and them. 

I went out yesterday, and went in to see Jenny.  She was happy to see me, but not her usual frantic “"get me out of here” mode.  She loved on me a bit, but not heavily.  Most importantly, she displayed none of her major ready-to-leave behaviors, and only one minor one—and that for a very brief time. 

Yes, dogs can’t really understand questions and such, but I talked anyway.  I told her that the choice was hers, and that it would be respected.  I asked her what she wanted to do in as neutral a voice as I could manage, and after a moment she went and beat up on Chumley.  The humans talked a bit, the dogs visited us and talked amongst themselves.  I watched and observed her body language and behaviors.  The dogs went into Monty’s room, and when Monty left soon after to go do Howl Night at Wolf Park, I too left and left Jenny to her new home.

There, she has two other dogs with whom to play and socialize, and two full-time humans who will love on her and give her attention when she wants and needs it.  That house is also social central for much of the Wolf Park crowd, which means she will have a lot of interaction with other people and other animals (not just canids).  The part of me that loves her and only wants the best for her is happy.  That part knows that I can visit anytime and that she will remain a part of my life.

But I would be lying if I didn’t say that for the rest of me, it hurts. 

LW

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Home

I am back safely from Iraq, but things will continue to be a bit slow for a while.  I do now have power for the laptop, and a gig or so of photos to go through, lots of audio to sort and edit, and more.  Regretfully, I also came home to a death in the family, unexpected yard work, and car repairs, all of which are claiming time.  Please stand by…

LW

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I Am Alive

Just have had very limited com or no com, and that is likely to continue for a while.  Please stand by…

LW

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